


Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light

by brunetteandblond



Series: Moving On [12]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Dolls and Alice moment, Dolls asks for permission to marry his girl, Domestic, Established Waverly Earp/Nicole Haught, Established Xavier Dolls/Wynonna Earp, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Supportive Earp Siblings (Wynonna Earp), Xavier Dolls & Nicole Haught Friendship, mostly in Dolls' perspective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-02
Updated: 2018-12-02
Packaged: 2019-09-05 21:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16818583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brunetteandblond/pseuds/brunetteandblond
Summary: Dolls wants to marry Wynonna. That, he is sure of. But he wants to do right. And he especially doesn't want to push Wynonna to do something she doesn't want to do.So he asks for Alice, Nicole, and Waverly's permission to marry her. But in the end, it all comes down to Wynonna and if she feels ready for such a big step.Part 12 in Moving On series but can be read alone. Waverly, Doc, and Dolls have been home for a while in this part.





	1. Love is the coal that makes this train roll

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fauchevalent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fauchevalent/gifts).



Xavier Dolls woke up to the strange feeling of his bed shaking. He opened his eyes and immediately reached over to Wynonna once he realized what was happening. She was thrashing in the bed… again.

“Earp,” He whispered as he tried to wake his girlfriend up from her terror. “Wynonna, it’s okay. It’s all a dream.”

The brunette gasped as she leaned up in bed. She put her hand on her chest like she couldn’t breathe. Dolls put his hand on her back, letting Wynonna know that he was there for her. He had learned that giving her space during one of these dreams was what she needed. But he also knew that she hated feeling alone. 

“Jesus fuck, I’m sorry,” Wynonna muttered as she brushed her hair out off of her sweaty forehead. “I can’t believe I keep having these.”

“We all still have nightmares, Earp,” Xavier told her and then kissed her bare shoulder. “You never have to apologize to me. Is it the same one?”

It took a while for the brunette to admit what kept her up at night. She imagined Alice was being taken into the garden. The dreams had started months ago, and they had appeared almost every night since. When she had nightmares this bad (the last time was after the Jack of Knives) she would drink until she passed out and hoped for the best. But she wasn’t that irresponsible anymore. Nothing was stopping her from having the nightmares. Though, Dolls helped. He always helped.

“Yeah,” Wynonna replied with a sharp nod. “God, I hate this. I feel like I don’t have any control. It makes me feel all itchy.”

“Itchy?” Dolls asked, not understanding the reference.

She let out an unsteady chuckle. “Like I have an itch I can’t scratch. I know the problem but I can’t solve it. And don’t say therapy! Haught already gave me that speech.”

Wynonna finally stopped trembling, so she rolled into his arms and entangled herself in his limbs (where she felt warm and safe).

He breathed in her scent and smiled when he felt her trace her fingers over his scars. He felt so incredibly lucky to be with her. To sleep in the same bed as her. To love her and to be loved by her.

His eyes unconsciously moved to his drawer in their bedroom where his ring that he bought for her resided. The ring had been in there for a month. It wasn’t that he was questioning whether or not he wanted to marry the woman (that he was absolutely sure of) it was more that he was waiting to find a right time to ask Wynonna's family and make sure that they were okay with him asking.

It took a while for Alice and him to become close. When he, Doc, and Waverly came home, the young girl spent her time getting to know her father and aunt. It made sense that he was the last one to get to know her.

But months passed and the now eight-year-old became intrigued by the man that seemed to have her mother’s attention. Nicole always made Wynonna smile, but Alice couldn’t help but notice that Dolls made her mother glow. And she’d do anything to keep her mother feeling that happy. The eight-year-old hid her amusement when her mother asked if she was fine with her dating him (she was the one pushing them together for months!).

And now it was a year later and their relationship rarely wavered. They’d get into arguments, of course (especially when they started working together again). But they were always able to solve it. Both of them weren’t willing to give up what they had just for a little fight. They knew what it was like to lose each other.

Dolls picked Alice up from school. He cooked her food (at least he had the ability to cook). He helped her with homework. When she admitted she was interested in learning martial arts, he was the first to offer to teach her. They spent hours training. And sometimes, they talked about things. Anything and everything. It was a different relationship than what she had with Nicole and Doc. But that didn’t make their relationship any less than. He knew that he'd probably never be as close with the girl as Nicole or Doc, but he wanted to be her (third) father. He wanted it all. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Wynonna asked after she kissed his chin. “You’ve got your thinking face on and I can hear your thoughty noises.”

“My thoughty noises?”

She rolled her eyes but nuzzled in closer to him. “Yep. You thinking about me?”

“Always, Earp.”

“Sap,” Wynonna muttered and then kissed him again. “Adorable sap. So what, dirty thoughts? ‘Cause if you say them out loud, I could make your imagination become a reality…”

He smirked and replied, “As good as that sounds… we should probably get up. I’m sure Nicole and Waverly already have Alice fed, but we shouldn’t let them take her to school.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“I’ll take her today,” Dolls tried to say as calmly and stoically as possible.

Wynonna kissed him again and moaned, “You spoil me, Xavier.” She got up from the bed and said, “Love ya, babe,” before exiting the room. 

* * *

Dolls laughed as he listened to Alice sing along to Wynonna’s music. The nine-year-old suddenly became a huge fan of Sundara Karma and was singing “Flame” non-stop. He didn’t mind, though. She had her mother’s voice.

But, as much as he wanted to hear her sing, he had something he had to discuss with her. He lowered the music and said, “Alice, there’s something I want to talk about with you. Is that okay?”

“Yeah,” She told him honestly, but remained slightly confused and concerned.

“I know I haven’t been around for too long, but I really love your mom. And I wanted to ask you if you were okay with me asking your mom to marry me. I know that it would be a change so I wanted to know if you were okay with it first.”

She stared at him in silence. Over a few seconds, the corner of her lips turned up and a grin spread across her face.

“You’re serious?” Alice asked him.

Xavier chuckled nervously and replied, “Of course, Alice. I love your mom and you more than anything. And if you’re okay with it, I’d really like to marry her.”

“You’re _in_ love with her?” Alice asked, thinking back to the conversation she had with her mom and dad when she was five.

“I am,” Dolls answered simply as he pulled into the carpool lane. “I care about your opinion, little Earp. And me marrying your mom is sort of me marrying into your family. So I need to make sure that you are alright with everything.”

“Of course I am,” Alice told him. “I want you to marry my mom, Agent Dad.”

He snorted and gave her an awkward hug from inside the car. They both jumped when they heard the car behind them honk. They both shared a quick burst of laughter.

“I think they want you to go, Alice. Have a good day at school.” He unlocked the door.

She kissed his cheek and gave him a short smile. When she opened the door, she shouted, “See ya later, Agent Dad! Love you!”

“I love you, too!” He quickly replied before she was out of earshot. He couldn’t help but smile as he drove to Purgatory Sheriff's Department. It was the first time they had exchanged those words. And he couldn’t be happier.


	2. In me you can confide

The next stop was Nicole. He considered asking Waverly first, but he knew deep down that the redhead was the person Wynonna was closest to. If she had an opinion, he knew she would be honest about it. The women were extremely protective of each other. And if Nicole thought Wynonna wasn't ready, he figured the brunette probably wasn't ready. 

Dolls had specifically asked for a team up with Nicole (as Wynonna went to a burglary scene with Jeremy). On the way back from breaking up a bar fight, Dolls cleared his throat, expecting awkwardness to quickly ensue.

“Haught, I have a question for you.”

She raised her eyebrow, confused by his weird behavior. “Okay…”

“I want to propose to Wynonna. And I was wondering if… well… if I could get your permission?”

She coughed as if she choked on her own saliva. “You want _my_ permission? Dolls, she would hate it if you asked me. We both know she’s a grown ass woman and doesn’t need my permiss--”

“I know,” He interrupted as he tried to steadily drive back to the station. “It’s just that you know her better than anyone. And you would know better than anyone if she was ready to get married.”

She almost laughed at the absurdity of the moment. “Look, Xavier. I’m not sure _I_ am the one you should be asking. Ask Waverly or something.”

“I already asked Alice,” He told her. “And I am planning on asking Waverly after you. It’s just that… I’m worried that I’m pushing her toward something she doesn’t want. I don’t want her to think that she has to marry me.”

“Wynonna won’t let anyone push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do,” Nicole stated confidently. “If she wants to marry you, she’ll say yes. If she doesn’t, she’ll say no. But to be honest with you, I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes. She loves you, Dolls. And you’re good with Alice. And she’s less afraid of marriage than you might think. Being a person that she has proposed to, I can say that with certainty.”

Dolls snapped his head to look at her, to make sure she wasn’t joking. “What?”

“Keep your eyes on the road. It happened years ago. She was worried that if something happened to her someone would take Alice away. But don’t worry, I said no.”

“I would hope so. You just got married to the other Earp. Though it did confuse the whole town because they all did think you and Wynonna were married. People still don’t believe me when I tell them that you’re just her best friend.”

“Yeah, she's my best friend. Which means I love her and would do anything for her. So be good to her, pal. Or you’ll have an enemy in this town.”

He would have laughed, but he knew she was incredibly serious. 

* * *

Waverly was the last person he felt like he needed to speak to. Even though she was younger, she took care of Wynonna. Besides, he felt like he needed to ask her since Nicole asked Wynonna for her permission to ask Waverly.

Unfortunately for him, the only time that he could find to have a private conversation with the younger Earp was when she was alone with Doc (as Wynonna and Nicole went to a parent-teacher conference). Dolls brought home pizza and hoped that the conversation would go smoothly, even with Doc there.

Part of him wanted to ask Doc, too, but he knew that if Wynonna found out, she’d be pissed. She was annoyed that she had to continually convince Xavier in the first place that she no longer had feelings for the ex-vampire and that Dolls wasn’t getting in the way of any possible relationship. But Doc eventually sat down with him and told him that a while ago he and Wynonna came to the same conclusion: they weren’t right for each other.

Dolls and Doc had acted amicably towards each other for two years now, but Xavier was still afraid of ruining their unlikely friendship.

“Dolls!” Waverly greeted when he walked into the house. “Thank god you got pizza. I’m absolutely starving!”

He followed her into the kitchen where Doc was already placing three plates around the table. He put the pizza on the table but continued to stand up as the two others sat down and started eating.

“Dolls...” Doc said as he stared up at the man who suddenly looked extremely anxious. “Is there something we could help you with?”

“Actually, there is,” Xavier replied as he rubbed his two hands together. “I sort of have a question for the both of you.”

“Save it,” Waverly muttered as she put a hand up, silencing him. “I already know what you want to ask. And let me tell you what, buddy. I’m truly offended that you didn’t come to me _first._ ”

Dolls facepalmed and groaned. He knew exactly how she already knew. “ _Haught_.”

“You should know by now that she can’t keep a secret from me!” Waverly commented as she stood up next to him, crossing her arms like she was agitated. “And after her spending alone time with Wynonna tonight, I would be surprised if she didn’t know either.”

“Damn it,” He mumbled as he rubbed his temples. “I shouldn’t have ask--”

“Darn tootin!” Waverly yelled out. “Why didn’t you come to me first?! I am her sister, after all!”

He hid an eye roll. He knew things would only get worse if he didn’t answer her. “She was alone a lot more often than you!”

“That’s shit balls, Dolls, and you know it. Doc, tell him!”

They both turned to the man who had continued to eat and tried to ignore his arguing friends. Doc took a sip of water and cleared his throat.

“I do believe Xavier Dolls meant no harm, Waverly. And whether my opinion matters or not, I fully support your decision to ask Wynonna for her hand in marriage.”

Dolls couldn’t hide his smile, especially when he turned back to Waverly who looked flabbergasted.

Throwing her hands up in the ear, she snarked, “Aww thanks for your support, John Henry Holliday!”

Doc, ignoring her sarcasm, tipped his hat at her before sitting back down and resuming his meal.

“Waverly, listen to me. I asked Nicole first because she’s Wynonna’s best friend. And I knew that if Haught thought it was a bad idea for me to propose then I wouldn’t even bother. I didn’t mean to make you think that I don’t care about your opinion or that your opinion means less than Nicole’s. I’m sorry.”

She stared at him for a few seconds but then her features softened and she put her hands down from it’s crossed position. She sighed and sat back down, causing Dolls to do the same.

“I’m being silly. Of course, you have my permission to ask Wynonna. Nothing would make me happier than to see Wynonna walk down the aisle. But you better be good to her or I’ll go all angel on you.” Her face went all dark for a second before becoming her bright and bubbly self again. “Anyway, when are you planning on asking her?”

Dolls frowned. He hadn’t thought about it. “I was thinking of taking her out somewhere. I don’t know. I’m not really good at the romantic stuff.”

He watched as Waverly’s face subconsciously fell, but she quickly bounced back and smiled fakely. “I’m sure whatever you do will be good.” 

Xavier inwardly groaned. He knew she was lying. 


	3. Loneliness is over, dark days are through

Dolls planned the whole damn thing out (along with Waverly's help). He was going to cook for her and get all dressed up and buy flowers and go all out. He even got the rest of the team in on the plan. He wanted it to go smoothly so he planned it for multiple different outcomes. But as much as he planned, as much as he thought things through, as much as he wanted the moment to be perfect, he forgot one little thing. _Wynonna._

He forgot that he still had to communicate with her, sleep with her, and work with her before he had the chance to propose to her. Even though he planned it for the next day, that night before was miserable. He had trouble eating, he had trouble staying focused, and especially had trouble sleeping with all the possible scenarios going through his head.

He watched her sleep and felt this immense feeling of adoration. Xavier wasn’t the kind of guy to fall in love so deeply (in fact, he was trained not to). But Wynonna was different. He was absolutely in love with her and he knew that would never change. He loved it when she slept. It meant that her nightmares weren’t too bad. She looked peaceful and happy, which gave Dolls all these unexpected fuzzy feelings.

When she started to snore, well, that was it. Right then and there he would marry her. Because he knew no matter what she did (or what ungodly sound she made), he unconditionally loved her. And he wanted her to know that.

Wynonna noticed his odd behavior all night but chose to ignore it. She knew that if it continued, then they needed to have a conversation. But she knew that some days she was weird too (no questions asked), so she gave him a day to put himself together. What she didn’t expect was at night, feeling him poke her awake.

“Mmm,” Wynonna moaned as she tried to roll away from him.

But all he did was move closer to her and whisper, “Earp. Get up.”

She immediately sat up and looked alarmed. She looked around the room and asked, “What? What is it? Is it Alice?”

“No, no!” Dolls said as he put his hand on her shoulder. “No, Wynonna, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just-- I have something I need to ask you.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, annoyed that he woke her up for something that wasn't an emergency. But she soon softened, knowing that he had this worried look in his eyes. She looked over at the clock and muttered, “Now? At two in the morning? Can it wait?”

He shook his head and sighed. “No. I’m sorry. It’s-- Wynonna, will you marry me?”

Wynonna gulped and choked out, “Excuse me? What?”

Dolls grabbed both of her hands and stared into her scared eyes. “Wynonna Earp, I’m asking you to marry me.”

She stared at him, not knowing what to say or do. This was not expecting her night to go like this. She opened her mouth, but it took a few seconds for the word to form in her mouth.

“ _Why?_ ”

He was almost too stunned to reply. He thought that it was obvious. He chuckled anxiously and replied, “Because I’m in love with you. Because I want to be your husband. Because I want a family with you and Alice, who is totally fine with us getting married, by the way.”

She bit her lip and felt tears enter her eyes. She had to look away from him. “Xavier, I’m… I’m not wife material. I might be more stable now but I’m still Wynonna Earp. I’m still emotionally stunted. I’m still fucked up. I’m still crazy--”

Dolls brought his hand and cupped her cheek. “Wyno--”

“No, Dolls,” Wynonna (who still turned away from him) interrupted, her voice now shaking. “I love you so much. And nothing would make me happier than to marry you. But you need to know what you’re marrying. I’m not the Heir anymore. There is nothing keeping you here. I have a family I have to protect. I’m not going to travel the world and fight demons. This is my life. Being a mom and a sister and a cop. I’m just Wynonna. Nothing special.”

He gaped at her, incredulous of what she had said.

“Earp, _I_ don’t want to travel the world and fight demons either. I’m not BBD anymore. I don’t need that. I need _you._ That’s why I’m here.” He kissed her shoulder, hoping that she’d turn to look at him again. “I’m not a perfect man either. I was trained to not feel anything. Before I met you, all I knew was how to be a perfect soldier. But now, I’ve learned how to be human. I’m proud of who I’m becoming. All I want is a future with you, Wynonna. I want _you._ All of you. Because you are incredibly special. Every version of you. You as a cop, you as a mom, you as a sister and friend, and you as a person. Your heart... it's extraordinary. And I'd be lucky to have you.”

She finally looked back at him with tears falling down her cheeks. She traced his face with her fingertips and she sighed. She decided that she was going to tell him what she was feeling, even though every part of her told her not to.

“I’m afraid of you leaving. If we get married and you leave me again, I’ll be losing a husband. And that just-- as childish as that sounds-- that would hurt me more.”

Dolls frowned, now understanding why Wynonna was being so reluctant. He ached for her. She never talked about how she dealt with his death. But now he finally got to see how it affected her, and he felt so guilty.

“Wynonna, I can’t promise that nothing will ever happen to me. Life is so unpredictable. But we can’t not live the life we want in fear that it will be taken away from us. Because all I can swear to you is that I will never leave you if I can help it. Not again. Let me show you what life we can have. Marry me.”

She stared at his eyes and found only sincerity and love in them. She knew that what he was saying was true.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” She whispered as she pressed her forehead against his. “Yes. Of course, I’ll marry you, Xavier Pamela Dolls. But I’m not taking your last name.”

He laughed and replied, “Of course you aren’t. I’m taking yours.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please review if you can! If you liked this, go read my other one-shots. They're pretty cool.
> 
> Ooh, and if you have any other comments or if you have any suggestions/requests, you can message me in tumblr @haught-n-cold-gay
> 
> I'd love to hear from you!


End file.
